When you retire, you move from a state of “have” to do something, as in “have to go to work” to a state of “getting” to do something, as in you can now focus your time and attention on activities that you enjoy (You could argue that this frame of mind is what we should pursue whether in retirement or not, but that’s another post for another day).
The problem then becomes in choosing what to do. Finding the “what” can be a hard process. As such, I offer this help.
#1
Some people are blessed with the knowledge of knowing exactly what they want to retire to. The rest of us are stuck in limbo, and it’s good to be reminded that finding your next “thing” in retirement is a process. Also, it doesn’t have to be world-changing. Go small. There’s great honor and impact in the smallest of activities.
You don’t have to have it figured out day 1, but you should be moving somewhere. I will always advocate for action. So then, how does one get better at taking action?
List out the activities of anything that has come to your mind now or in previous years (when you were day-dreaming at work). Then, here’s the most important step, write out the very next step to work toward participating in that activity.
For example, if you’ve wanted to start your own business, then a small next step would be to ask a friend who is a business owner out to coffee and lob questions about how to get started. Just think of your job as handling these little assignments rather than completing the whole task. If you favor progress over completion, you’ll be surprised how far you get. (Here’s the list I created for starting my own independent RIA this fall).
#2
Make a commitment to pursue this thing (whatever it is) for a specific period of time and then write down that commitment. It takes a few tries to get over the newness of any activity – whether that be joining a bridge club or volunteering. You feel like the newbie and that’s not a good feeling. There are emotional hurdles you have to overcome to show up. With a commitment behind you, you’re free to pursue something even if it’s uncomfortable.
At the end of your time commitment ask yourself:
-Does this activity spark joy?
-Does what I’m doing matter?
Finding Significance
Remember what the purpose is for doing these: You want these years of your life to matter and to burst with significance rather than wither. You won’t find significance in the next internet column or TV show.
The truth is enjoying an activity doesn’t come without its moments of frustration. I have a family friend in retirement who coaches a varsity high school boys soccer team. I’m sure everyone thinks that coaching soccer would be so much fun. You get to be outside, you get to teach young men life lessons and you get to celebrate amazing victories. But then there’s also the part that’s not so much fun that comes with the gig. Dealing with parents who think their kid deserves more playing time, organizing travel plans, dealing with players who break the rules and having to enforce discipline.
This is counter-intuitive, but the activities that we most enjoy or the ones that bring us the most fulfillment are the ones where we have to inconvenience ourselves for the sake of someone or something else
Don’t worry so much about finding the right activity out of the gate as you are being committed to that activity. Just because it looks like work doesn’t mean there won’t be enjoyment throughout. After all, the things we are most proud of are usually the things that cost us.
So to find your “what” in retirement, remember that it’s a process based in small actions and personal commitments.
Inch by inch life’s a cinch. Yard by yard life is hard.